A Bong's Kitchen

Cholar dal with vegetables is a regular dish for dinner at my home. Not only does it taste very good but it is also very nutritional, as bengal gram dal is high in fiber and so helps in fighting cholesterol. It is also good for the diabetics as it is low in fat content and rich in zinc, calcium and proteins. Normally cholar dal is prepared with only grated coconut in it by the Bengalis and then is given a seasoning of ghee and cumin seeds and red chillies. But I add carrots, brinjals, pumpkin, potatoes, green peas and radish too. It tastes differently from the normal cholar dal but everyone loves having it this way at our home.

Ingredients :

Bengal gram dal or channa dal - 1 cup
Carrots - 2 small sized, diced into small pieces
Pumpkin - 150 gms, diced into small pieces
Potatoes - 2 small sized, diced into small pieces
Brinjals - 150 gms, diced into small pieces
Green peas - 100 gms
Raddish - 150 gms, diced into small pieces
Grated coconut - 1/2 cup
Turmeric powder - 1 tsp
Freshly prepared Garam Masala powder - 1 tsp
Sugar - 1 tsp
Salt
Ghee - 2 tbsp
Bay leaf - 1
Asafoetida (Hing) - a pinch
Red chillies - 2-3
Green chillies - 2-3 slit along the length
Cumin seeds - 1 tsp
Freshly Grated ginger - 1/2 tsp
Fresh coriander leaves - chopped finely

Method :

Wash the vegetables and cut them into small dices and keep them aside. Then wash the cholar dal (chana dal) in water and after draining off all water, put into a pressure cooker. Add the diced vegetables as well as the grated coconut. Then add turmeric powder, garam masala powder, sugar and salt and some water (about 2 cups) and closing the lid, let the dal and the vegetables to boil to two whistles. After two whistles, when the steam goes out, this dal mixture will need to be given a seasoning. So for seasoning, take some ghee in a pan and heat it. Add hing and the slit green chillies, then red chillies and cumin seeds and saute them for a few seconds, and then add the boiled chana dal along with the vegetables into this pan. Stir in another cup of water, mix nicely and give it a boil (for about 2-3 minutes). Then turn off the burner and garnish it with the chopped coriander leaves and garam masala powder before serving it. This cholar dal goes very well with hot rotis or porothas or even with luchis.

I have always loved eggs and Dimer Jhol used to be a regular item for dinner during my graduation days at Hyderabad. I often used to cook bhat and Dimer Jhol for dinner after returning back tired from my tuitions. Even now after marriage also, whenever I run out of choices or have not much options in terms of vegetables, this Dimer Jhol comes as a rescue. Today I added a twist, I added boiled matar as well, so it was a dimmer-jhol-cum-ghughni.

Ingredients :

Eggs - 4
Potato - 2 medium sized
Onion paste - 3 tbsp
Ginger-garlic paste - 1 tbsp
Tomato - 1 large sized, chopped finely
Boiled white peas - about 100 gms
Chili powder - 1 tsp
Coriander powder - 1/2 tsp
Garam masala powder - 1/2 tsp
Cloves - 2
Cinnamon - 1” piece
Black cardamom - 1
Turmeric powder - 1/2 tsp
Salt as per taste
Mustard Oil - about 5-6 tbsp
Chopped coriander leaves for garnishing

Method :

Wash the pototoes thoroughly and put them into a pressure cooker to boil for two whistles. Then cut them into cubes. Boil the white peas for a whistle in a pressure cooker and take them out to soak in plain water for sometime. Boil the eggs as well in another pan with a pinch of salt, till you see cracks developing on the egg shells. That would mean that they are cooked. Now let them to cool down a bit and then drain out all the water and add fresh cold water to the pan so that the eggs remain in them for 4-5 minutes. Then remove the egg shells and sprinkling some salt and turmeric powder, coat the eggs nicely on all sides. Then heat the oil in a deep bottomed pan and fry the eggs till golden. Fry the potatoes too and keep them aside.
Again to the same oil, add the whole spices (slightly crushed so that their aroma comes out). Once they start to splutter, add the onion paste and saute on medium flame for a few minutes till they turn golden brown. Add the ginger garlic paste and cook for another 2-3 minutes. Now add coriander powder, chili powder and turmeric powder, also add the chopped tomatoes and little salt and cook till they become all mushy. Keep stirring every now and then so that the gravy doesn't get burnt. Now add the fried eggs and potatoes and the boiled white matar, mix them nicely with the gravy and then pour in about 2 cups of water and let the curry to cook on simmer flame, after covering it with a lid. When it's done, you can garnish the dimer jhol with chopped coriander leaves or garam masala powder and serve it hot with steamed rice. I had it with bhaat today. Ah, it tasted heavenly. 

Almost an hour had already passed by then but there was no sight of Arindom yet. He had promised me that he would take me to the theatre for the latest movie. The last time that I had called him, he said that he was just about to leave his office and would be at the door in the next ten minutes or so. That was an hour ago. I had been waiting for him, all dressed up, like a fool.

Patience had never been among my strong points. I could feel my temper rising. I have always had a fiery temper and could explode at the drop of the hat. Arindom had bore the brunt of my ire a few times earlier as well. But as is his nature, he always remains calm, hardly says anything to me and instead lets me to cool down on my own. I too could never be angry at him for long, I love him too much. But this time, I was really furious. I was so angry that I decided to lock our flat and go and sit somewhere all alone. I had also switched off my cell phone so that he wouldn't be able to call me to know about my whereabouts. I wanted him to be a little worried about me as a punishment. I wanted him to wait for me just as he had made me to wait.

I simpled walked blindly into our colony's park without too much care and sat on a bench. I was still angry and was almost crying. Just then my eyes fell on an elderly couple sitting on a bench just across mine, holding hands and smiling at each other, unmindful of the bustle of activities around them. They just sat there looking over the park and enjoying each other's company.


They looked like they had been together forever! And even after all those years, they looked very much in love with each other, they were holding hands and they were still together. For me that was very cute. I kept on looking at them. They looked so happy, so comfortable together.

I kept on watching them carefully with all intent and then the old man said something to the woman while pointing his fingers at a tree or may be at a bird sitting on one of its branches and the old woman started laughing. I could hear her laughter even from the distance that I was seated away from them.

I couldn't resist myself from going over to them and having a chat with them. Though we hardly knew each other and I was meeting them for the first time, but for some reason, I was very keen and eager to hear their love story. They were very friendly and lovingly shared their story with me how they had met each other for the first time at a bus-stop, how they became friends which gradually turned in love and they eventually got married to each other.
"We have been married since the last 43 years. We saw both good as well as bad times. We saw some dreams together, we were able to fulfill some of them while the others couldn't be. We couldn't have all that we would have liked to, but we have always had each other and that is all we have ever needed," said the old lady, smiling from ear to ear and holding her husband's hand. That was truly an aww moment for me.

Suddenly I got reminded of my grandparents - how they used to fight almost every day and yet they were inseparable, they loved each other more than anything else. They had a love that stood the test of time. They remained together until they died. One doesn't see that anymore these days. That was true love. Then I also realised that true love isn't always perfect. The old couple whom I had been conversing with too would have fought with each other at some point. But their love for each other hadn't diminished, I was sure.

"Arindom too loves me sincerely with all his heart, though he is a little forgetful and somewhat unromantic," the thought of that brought a smile to my face. Nothing else really matters to me.

When I returned home, I found Arindom dialing someone's number. "He must be trying my number. Good that I had switched off my cell phone" I thought to myself. On seeing me, he sighed in relief but stood there with his head down like a little child was waiting for punishment for some misdeed. Somehow I managed to suppress my smile.

"He must be feeling hungry", I thought and so I went into the kitchen to prepare tea and his favourite mohonbhog for him. When I opened the fridge, I saw a small paper note being stuck on the milk container, that read "I am sorry. I won't be late again".
A smile slipped onto my lips. My anger had completely gone away by now. Still I acted like I was still furious with him. We sat together in our living room and he slowly handed over the TV's remote to me, as if he was saying, "I will watch today whatever you watch, even if it means watching a saas bahu saga!"

After a few minutes, he slowly leaned towards me and laid his chin on my shoulder. Then wrapping his arms around me, he whispered into my ears, "I love you".
I could feel his love in the blissful moment of warmth.
"I love you more," I smiled again.

It had stopped raining and so she furled her umbrella and started walking again towards her home. But she had hardly walked a few steps when she heard footsteps following her from behind. She hesitated, her heart once again began to beat loudly. She turned around but found no one. Was it him who had following her?, she thought. Had he found out her whereabouts? Or was it only a figment of her imagination? Whatever it was, but she felt scared once again. She thought she had left her painful past way behind. Without looking back again, she first hurried her steps and then began to run until she reached her hut and got inside. She felt safe in there. Soon she fell asleep on the cot.

Life had been a hard struggle for Meera all along. Her parents had died when she was still very young and it were her uncle and aunty who raised her up. However she hardly had a happy childhood with them, her aunty used to make her do all the household chores - from washing clothes to cleaning the stable and tending to the cattle, from fetching water from the community tap to washing the dishes, she was made to work from morning till night without any rest nor was she given enough food to eat. Her aunty had her drop out of school long back when she was only nine.

Life, which had been nothing great to start with, became even worse and unliveable for Meera after her marriage to Sundar. Sundar was an indolent fellow who never stuck with any job for too long and whatever he used to earn from his temporary jobs, he would spend them all in gambling and drinking. Meera's aunty and uncle knew all about him and yet they forced her to get married to him because he didn't demand any dowry. It was as if they wanted to get rid of Meera.

Sundar was a drifter and worked briefly at whatever odd jobs he found - sometimes as a coolie at the bus-stop or as a labourer at the brick factory and sometimes as a cleaner at some restaurant. With no permanent source of income, they lived a hand-to-mouth existence. So she started working at the nearest tailor shop to run the house. She was earning enough but her drunkard husband would wrest away all her income to waste on his drinks and gambling bets. So she used to sleep hungry most of the times. Her life quickly turned into hell. Her husband was an obsessive gambler and ran huge debts too. SO his lenders would often threaten her and she had to work over-time to repay her husband's debts. But instead of appreciating his wife and changing his ways for good, her husband Sundar would come home drunk and would beat her mercilessly using any pretext he could find. He would unleash his fury by pummeling her until he tired. Still for some reason, she continued to suffer the brutal neglect and beatings silently. But then something broke loose inside her when one night Sundar came home in a drunken stupor with a man whom he had met at the bar and asked her to accompany the man because he had sold her to him to repay his debt. But Meera fought like a tigress against his advances and somehow managed to run away from their house in the middle of the night. She had got nothing but the clothes on her back.

She spent the night huddled in a doorway near the market and waited for the morning to dawn in. As soon as it was morning and the market opened, she went around looking for some work so that she could pay for her bus-ride to another city. She did find a small job and with the money that she earned, she took the bus and left the city for a new place. She had to start from scratch but being very sincere, she was never short of jobs. Whatever sort of work came her way, she always grabbed it and worked hard at it. It was not long before she got a permanent job as a cook in a restaurant. Slowly her life began to turn for the better, of course she worked hard for it. No one would have laboured more untiringly than she did. She started saving money from her earnings little by little and she had now finally managed to rent a small hut to stay.

It was early morning now, her body-clock had got used to getting up at around that time every day. Another day had started but it felt so different. She could hear the birds chirping outside, as if they were welcoming the morning. Her eyes were closed but she could hear the sound of the dripping faucet. She got up from her bed and looked outside from her small window. It was a beautiful sunrise, she felt as if the rays that fell on her were urging her not to think about her painful past, not to feel scared anymore, instead to continue with her new life. Indeed she felt reborn, far away from her abusive husband and her uncle and aunty, she was happy that she had escaped from a bad dream that had lasted for so many years. Suddenly a sense of freedom had risen up in her. She felt proud of herself for having mustered courage to rebel against her fate. With a roof above her head and a permanent job, now she was confident and self-sufficient. "From now on, I will make my own destiny," she told herself as she looked out of the window aimlessly, "No one is going to make me suffer again".

It's often seen that as time goes by, marriages and relationships tend to lose their initial spark. The romance that was present during the initial phases of love gradually diminishes and sometimes it makes one feel like she is being taken for granted by her partner. This happens because after we fall into a routine and reach a level of ease in our relationship, we subconsciously start to care a little less about putting in enough efforts to keep the relationship exciting or to make our beloved feel special, though we continue to love our partner as much as before. It's just that we somehow stop expressing our love as often. That is why open communication with your partner is very essential to make your relationship work. Each partner should make efforts to reignite the lost zing in their relationship, if he or she feels that things aren't going as smooth as earlier. Of course after a phase, since people get busy with their other priorities and obligations, so as a result they aren't able to devote enough time to their beloved. They no longer try to please or impress their partner as they used to do during the honeymoon phase. This is when cracks may start to develop in the relationship and the person with unrequited love may feel betrayed, especially women, who look for emotional connection with their partners more than anything else. If a girl feels like her husband isn't loving her anymore the way he used to do earlier, she becomes depressed. She loses confidence in herself thinking that her husband doesn't find her attractive any more and so doesn't love her anymore. Such negative thoughts had entered my mind too.

I had an arranged marriage with my husband Arindom. He is diametrically opposite to me, as far as our character traits are concerned. While I am an extrovert and an expressive person, my husband is a silent type who often keeps his emotions to himself. While I am a die-hard romantic who loves to be wooed, he is as unromantic a person as one could be. However I have always loved his simplicity and his child-like heart and he does care about me and loves me a lot, even though he rarely expresses his feelings for me. We women expect our men to do the little things every now and then to show that we are special to them and that is exactly what Arindom rarely does. Initially I had loved his romantic naivety but gradually when he started to remain busy with his office work and so wasn't giving me enough time, his unromantic ways made me irritated, it made me lose confidence in myself. Then came a phase when it seemed like we were only going through the motions of living together. The energy and the romance that once coloured our relationship had gone out of the window altogether.

That is when, out of the blue, Arindom surprised me on the day of our marriage anniversary. Not only did he remember the date but he also took the day off from his work to spend the day with me. We didn't have any lavish party nor did he give me an expensive gift, any necklace or any saree but he surely won my heart  once again with his simple gestures that proved that he still loved me as much as ever. It was a day full of surprises. The first surprise was that he had left me a note under my pillow in the morning that read, "I don't say it often but I hope you know that I love you with all my heart and I want you to keep loving me the way you do". I couldn't believe that Arindom could write me such a message, I could only blush and smile. The next surprise was that he had already prepared the breakfast for the day by the time I got into the kitchen -- some burnt rotis :P and alu chorchori. Prior to this day, he had probably never entered the kitchen, at least never to cook. He knew nothing about cooking but on our special day, he wanted to make me feel special, he wanted to spare me of the kitchen chores and so he took it upon himself to do the cooking. He had asked a friend of his to teach him a few cooking steps and also some easy Bengali recipes. Never mind the burnt rotis but he had surely put in the effort and it showed in the way his alu chorchori tasted. That made me so emotional that I couldn't hold back my tears. He was even insisting on preparing the lunch but I didn't want to take chance, hehehe. So we went out to a Chinese restaurant for lunch, which was then followed by a movie. After the movie, we then went to the India Gate and spent the evening there doing some boating and taking strolls across the lawn. We also ate gup chup and alu tiki from the street vendors there and so also the ice-lollies. We then sat down near the water-fountain and enjoyed watching the cascading water fall down to match the music. But all along he mostly remained silent. Even as we were coming back home, he hardly spoke much on the way but I still felt so nice resting my head on his shoulders as he gently held me close. It was indeed a delightful evening, one that i would never forget.

When you love someone dearly, the place or the setting doesn't really matter, what matters is the togetherness, the companionship of your beloved. That he was present with me all day, both physically as well as emotionally, is what made the day special for me. He didn't do anything extraordinary for me that day and yet with his simple gestures, he made me feel special. That is love. When someone's feelings are sincere, they needn't do anything grand to make you feel special. It's their company that does, it's the feeling of togetherness that matters.

P.S. - This is about the power of #Togetherness, it's the company of a loved one that matters more than anything, and this is courtesy https://housing.com/.